I Apologize.

What do you think a woman or a girl should be like? Someone who dresses traditionally or in a modern way? Should she have female friends, male friends or both? Should she stay at home and do the household work or should she be working and earning the money? Should she be fair looking or dark-complexioned?

Whatever you may think is the right answer; it is not for you to think. It is a choice for a woman to be whatever she wants to be. It is a choice, just not yours to make. If a woman wants to wear short skirts, its her choice to wear it, not yours. A girl should not have to fear wearing the clothes of her choice thinking she might get raped if she wears short clothes or something that shows some part of her skin. She should have the freedom to roam around naked if she wants to, without being terrorized by the feeling that someone might rape her.

Coming from the older generation, it still seems acceptable that their generation was not so keen on women being free but what about the youth? Wherever you go, you will find movies and advertisements with explicit content, which should be normal for any person. However, it is not so. People still treat women as someone who should stay at home, look after the household work and be used to produce children. It shocks me how people still consider females as curse. It hurts me when someone uses the term, “…because she’s a woman…” in a statement. They are not any objects that you use them when you feel like. They are just like us, or mostly, better than us.

Other than this, one major thing that disturbs me is gender policing. Gender policing means forcibly asking someone to behave his or her gender. This was a lesson that I learnt from the people around me in no time, but took me years to realize and unlearn it. I often use to gender police the people around me, specially my family. Even though my father is generation apart from mine, he never taught me gender policing, instead he opposed it. I remember a few years back when I was out late, my father called me and asked me to come back home to which I replied that I am not a girl that I can’t stay out till late. He snapped at me saying that it doesn’t matter if I am a girl or a boy; I have to come home when he says so. Being a boy doesn’t give me any superior advantage. That was one of the many things that helped me learn the narrow minds of the society. Another incidence was when I saw a woman drinking and I was taken back. Seeing my reaction, my father said to me, “Someday, when you earn yourself, you can drink too. You don’t only have to be a man to be able to drink.”

I understood it but there are so many people of my age group who still see women so narrowly and police them. Gender policing has a much worse effect than we can imagine. It can lead to one of the major reasons for rape. How is gender policing leading to rape? Most of us think that what harm does gender policing do if we just tell a girl to behave like one. Well some people are stricter about such things. They see it as a way of disrespect to society. If someone is not being how the society wants them to be, these self-proclaimed agents of society decide to punish the offenders in their own ways, which may not even be legal by law. One such way of punishment is rape.

Not just in India, but women around the world are not treated equally to men. Worldwide, people think of women as disgrace. Though the discrimination has reduced over the years, it has yet not vanished from each and every country completely. Women are sometimes treated even worse than animals in parts of the world. Such treatment is so much worse that even rape seems not so bad. Moreover, most males judge women on their looks. If a female looks attractive to them, they rape her with their eyes and humiliate her publicly that she can’t do anything about it; and if they find her non attractive, they pass comments about her saying that what would she be worth for or simply humiliate her in whatever way possible. Sometimes people go to such extreme measures that even if a woman is alive, she’d wish her remaining life that she should have been killed that very instance. Many such extreme measures used by people are, including but not limited to, torture by physical wounds or cutting off body parts, throwing acid on women, damaging their genitals by penetrating with sharp objects during rape and many more. A woman is also killed if she gives birth to a baby girl, because the family had demanded her for a boy but she delivered a girl, something on which nobody has a control on. These things clearly state that not just in India, but women are hated around the globe.

I am highly ashamed and frustrated by all these facts. Women are so much better than men and they have much higher potential than them as well. Males think of themselves as superior due to high-capacity of strength, stronger emotional stability, High IQ levels and what not, but guess what? Women have the capabilities of doing all these things as well. The only reason they are not able to do things to their full potential is because men, and at times even women, undermine all women in the name of society. Society plays a major role in undermining women. Not only men, but also women are brainwashed by the society on how to behave and how not to, restricting a woman to rise as whole and become equal to men. Men are even more coward than women. They would say a lot of things about women behind their backs but in front of them, they’ll act like they are the biggest women rights supporter. I am not like them. I at least agree that I have made these mistakes but I’m on my path to repair the damage I have done. I am not a woman so it won’t be right on my part to even say that “I understand” the pain and torture any woman goes through. I am not a woman but I wish I were one for they are much more capable than any man. By the end, I wish to apologize to each and every woman, from every man’s side, who are not ‘man-enough’ to do it themselves, for them having to be scared to go out of the house late or wear short clothes. I apologize for every time your fears came to life. I apologize.

Video References:

1. Ek Larki, Anek Larkiyan- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glJrVBrZUv4 from sherlockgaysi (YouTube)/ Gaysi Family (Facebook)

2. Gender Policing- http://www.storypick.com/rape-always-sex-video-will-change-way-look-rapes-forever/ from nocountryforwomen.org or No Country For Women (Facebook)

3. World Hates Women- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwl7olQ54iw from Video Daddy (YouTube)/ Video Daddy (Facebook)

4. I’m Not a Woman- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdPqGLB18js from East India Comedy (YouTube)/ East India Comedy (Facebook)



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